One of the reasons I have been able to accomplish more than others is because I am willing to take chances other people usually are not able to take. I have a responsibility right now to pull up my big girl panties and get something done.

It was exactly one year ago that I thought that I had found a new location. It was exactly two years ago that my world was turned upside down by the news that I needed to move out of current location.

What has changed? I do not need to gain my parents approval. I’ve been working my whole entire life to prove to my parents that I was worthy. When the realization that I was making choices to gain acceptance from these people and doing everything in my power to ensure that I did not disappoint them, my perspective changed.

Why did my mood change. Because of a piece of paper. Sometimes the littlest details are missed even when you are business. Because of an insurance policy. Despite everything that has happened, I was able to pay my insurance policy, the cost of which is equivalent to an average monthly income and now I must commit to make enough money for the year to make it worth my while to pay it. Also because of my 19 year old daughter; when she decided that she should defend her mom, it made me realize that I should be defending her mom as well.

I have built a lot from the ground up. I am strong, and confident. I am unique. I am able to do this. It also may have something to do with the fact that this process has very much been like the morning process of losing a loved one.

I was fighting so hard, because I wanted to make my parents proud of me. I was fighting so hard because I felt an obligation to repay them. I didn’t want to default on my loan. I’ve decided that I need to do this for me. Not for the community. Not for some obligation that I feel. Not for my grandma, but me.

What I create, isn’t going to be because it is something that somebody else thinks it should be, but because it is what I think it should be!

Im supposed to meet a potential client this morning and ironically, there is no breakfast restaurant to meet at. LOL.

I turned off facebook, but I am still here. I did the dishes. Washed my face. Checked the mail. I am going to go to Reno today, and I am going to get the Mill Works open despite the stupid bear. Someone made me cry, and I think it lit a fire under my ass!!!!